Friday, November 13, 2009

Friday the 13th!

Feeling lucky today? I'm an especially superstitious person, but for some reason Friday the 13th doesn't bother me one bit. Anyways, I'll honor the day with taking the chance to explain my ridiculous run in with unhinged individuals and less than reassuring St Paul Police men. I'm feeling better about things. I'm barricaded into my apartment and catching up an Grey's. I'm emotionally ready to relive the moment for your blog reading pleasure.

I went to Trader Joe's the other night, to pick up some deals. As I was carrying my groceries up, my doorbell starting ringing frantically and someone started violently shaking my front door. As an aside, my landlord is a dear man, but his decision making skills worry me slightly. For example, he is so concerned with maintaining the authenticity and "beauty" of our historic building, he allows-no insists-on allowing the original front door to rot away and frame to disintegrate. Super sturdy.

Anyways. I peek my head around the stairs to investigate...and make certain I had locked the door. There were three adults standing on my stoop. A man in his 40s, dressed in a white T shirt and shorts, brazenly presents a round sheriff badge to me. Screaming through the door, he informs me he's with the city police and must be let into the building to deliver papers. I look a bit closer...why...because at this point the encounter was more surprising and strange than terrifying. I immediately recognized that his "badge" was probably purchased at party city for $2.99.

So he flashes me the badge again and demands to be let in. I said "No". He starts shaking the door (eh hem-the dilapidated yet charmingly original door). I eye him up. His compatriots are standing behind him, dressed oh so officially in sweat pants. He repeats: I'm with the police, I demand you open this door. As he shakes the door violently again, I come a bit more to my senses. This man is unstable. I wouldn't say overtly dangerous, but that's only in retrospect. At the time he seems unreasonable and volatile. I informed him I was calling 911 and ran up to my apartment.

911 is not very impressive. It took me a good 5 min to get my phone call answered and all my identifying information provided. If this man was trying hard to get me...

he would have. Dead meat. Yikes. While on the phone I hear a series of doors opening and closing, and basically : I sh*t a brick. I'm totally thinking : good lord, these off kilter individuals are TOTALLY AFTER ME, and in my hallway! The 911 operator, after listening to my plight, replies. It's ok, don't worry, they called the police too. I'm like, what? She said, yep, they called to police to help them get in your building. They are waiting outside, don't worry, you're ok. So I hang up and call my landlord.

So anyway. The police come and talk to these guys for about 10 min. One of the three disappeared, not sure to where. But this badged man was very animated and dramatic in his story telling. Many exasperated moments, throwing his hands in the air, trying to convince the police to "break down the door". Obviously I'm totally spying through one slit of my blinds at this point... Anyways, the man seems to get really angry, storm off, come back, then leave again for good. My landlord pulls up and speaks with the police who come up to talk to me.

So I guess these people had some sort of custody papers to deliver, but they were unofficial. Hmm. Sort of like the unofficial cracker jack box police badge they were flashing about? The police were nice but essentially not super useful.

They told me I had done the right thing, and to call them again if I ever felt threatened. Sensing the oh so subtle "Suzanne is beyond totally freaked out right now" look on my face, the younger (cuter) police officer actually says: It's ok hun, you're safe, you have an attack cat.

HA! That's enough. Thanks for your help, get the bleep out of here.

NO flirting with me while my sympathetic nervous system is still quivering from one intense workout.

So there you have it. I "sweetly" demanded the front door be worked on. My landlord, in his defense, did come the next day to re-frame the door and PROMISES to re-inforce the lock. In landlord time, that will happen sometime in 2011. Unless I get pushy. And I may seem docile but I can get pushy :) I guess impersonating an officer is totally fine in St. Paul. So go ahead folks, do as you please!

I also saw this yesterday. SO good!


B and B said...

I share your concerns for your safety. But, I must say, reading your description of that very upsetting incident was most entertaining! Do you want to go to see Roald Dahl's "Fantastic Mr. Fox"?

Lisa from Lisa's Yarns said...

My gosh that is scary. I would have freaked out as well. Sheesh.

Entertaining telling of the story, though!!

Marlys said...

I can understand why you S___ buckets - I would have done the same! How crazy and rude! I can almost feel you heart pounding in your chest!